I'm tired. exhausted. weary. worn-out. drained. and having troubles keeping my eyes open. It is an emotion, you told me. I've already kept the tiredness under control since yesterday. I'm human, after all.. I want to make you happy by going further, but the body is not cooperating. I'm sorry.

Hai! gambatte!

I'm a piece of dead meat... wah.

Gambarimasu kudasai, ore. hehe!

Hotpants, wait fer me! I will come when the rain stops!

There is nth to teach. Follow your heart. And listen to mine.

Assuage my fears. Talk to me till I start talking. I will tell.

I might cry. I might throw a tantrum. Don't walk away.

You tire to repeat. But pls don't stop. I need reminders.

Scrunch my hair. Pull silly faces. Pin me down.

I will struggle. I will run. I will stop.

Kiss me goodbye. Remind me you love me. Don't go so fast.

I might tear. After the hug. But believe me.

I will start to smile.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I just found out that I share the same birth date as Heath Ledger.

I'll blow the candles for you when I blow mine this year.

Promise.

Numbness

Unwittingly, I'm repeating what I did 7 years ago...

For 2 years, I sat in front of the computer every Sunday. 2pm sharp.

Just to catch a glimpse of you. Just to catch your eye.

But you left me with a hurt so deep.

I swore never to do the same thing for anyone again.

But tonight..

I did it again without realizing.

Only this time round, it's another you.

Deja vu.


Ore wa... honto ni honto... totemo totemo... baka ja nai...

----------------------------------------------------------------

019283. So strange, it stuck for so long. He had her the day he gave her the knuckle scolding. From resenting, she began to look up upon him. Secretly admiring him. Falling head-over-heels in love with him. Stashing her jealousy bouts when he flirts with others. She was never an equal in his eyes. Imouto.. she's only his imouto. Just like she was to them. She pained when he couldn't get her love, his happiness. She pained when he got closer and closer to her. She was contented, just to see him smile.. viewing his athletic frame when he dominated the court, his shy smile and his kindness to her. She took her time securing her wheels, always hopeful she could bump into him at the back lane.. so he'd offer for them to lock em together. She waited with no strings attached, as would a child for something he really really like. She was overjoyed when he brought it up, but the joy faded when it didn't work out. 1 year later, he came back again. 23rd December, he thrust Bernard into her life. While she was slaving away, he sent her 5 little words so dear. 5 little words which touched her so much, that will forever anchor his existence in her life. 24th April. That was the end. 3 days later, she had her first piercing. She shed no tears... Nobody knew... till 3 months passed by. That night, she finally felt the first pain. Had her first tears. And felt the hollow void.


Another extract from The Twisted Mind.

Spring fling... should or shouldn't I?

I'm tempted to take another leaf out of Seth's collection... *sigh* maybe next time. It did however prevent me from murdering and causing grievous hurt to someone,something or myself yesterday. That spurt of anger was unbelievably hard to control, something I didn't know co-existed with me, in me. Doldrums is still in the house, so you can say I'm still in a bleurgh mood.

Seriously, I'm contemplating on going for a spring fling the whole of last night (whole, as in all the hours I spent lying in bed unable to succumb to Sandman's lulling which is helluva long time). Since I already know no guys are ever interested in me... Hey, any ladies wanna spend some fun time together with me? Which reminds me, I haven't answered Fly whether I'm norm, bi or les.. huh?

Gene's back in town, the southern part where I call home sweet home.Whee. Maybe I should just call him up and go hook some chicks together when I get back to that rustic town. That's a superbly comforting thought, though I'm deeply unsure whether he'll balk at the idea of me going after my own counterparts.

Life's a laugh.. you can take me for what I said, or think twice and blink.

Ahh... I learnt today that love ain't all so rosy after all.. it can kill, as illustrated in that Korean movie iforgotthename. Sonofagun had me tears streaming and nose dripping all the way. Can't pin all the blame on it, was looking for a chance to rinse my tear ducts and so happened chanced on that film. Great piece of tear-jerker for numbskulls like me. Yes, I enjoy putting myself down. It keeps me alive. Sadist!!

Yay... nuff with the depressing stuff. I wanna end this post by singing something cheerful:

Dango, dango, dango,
dango, dango daikozoku!*

*ending song from Clannad

Yea... and I'm gonna pretend I'm simple-minded like Kame aka Hatanaka-kun from One Pound Gospel. Let food be my life's greatest motivation... yeah~ *struggles with Peace sign*

Takoyaki! Tonkatsu! Yakiniku! Sashimi! Dango!

The Observer

He gallantly stepped out, and all flustered was she. The Observer fell, in silent defeat.

Paced up and down, looked in and out. The worry shows, an ant can tell.

This is not his first time here, you bloody imbecile.

Broken and downcast, the Observer longed to yell.

He was sick. The Observer, no less. She stooped over him. Medicine in hand. The Observer hid, with a swollen tear gland.

She reveled blatantly, in all his greatness. The Observer sighed, in thorough soreness.

Somewhere in a distant land... the skies turned black.

That noon, that second... the Observer stopped living.



Extracted from The Twisted Mind by Seth

In good spirits

Unimaginatively..yea, I'm feeling good, happy and cheery.

It's because of the most minute shot of coffee I had. Took Milo tis noon, the Mocha version. And it kept moi in a feel good mood that's steadfastly exerting its potent effects up till now.

Either that, or I'm just hopeless with caffeine.

For normal peepz, this sentence would mean caffeine is nothing, nada, and ilek.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), the opposite holds true for yours truly.

I'm at the mercy of it. Ahh... the nights where it kept me awake for last minute muggings, the days where it drew laughter from my friends looking at my crazed antics i.e. non-stop laughter and the nights where i lay in bed agonizing over lost sleep.

There.. my love-hate relationship with the java beans.

I did notice, however that lately I've been craving for Hotpant's peachy kopi-ping (iced coffee). The shop next to hers (Fook Heng, is it not?) also serves a decent brew and I don't mind having that too. I personally envisioned Hotpant's coffee as a lady because it's more mellow in taste. There's more cream compared to the latter, thus making it rather smooth and silky. The latter's brew is stronger and more potent in taste. Sipping it gives me a masculine feel... the ebony liquid that slides down the throat somehow awakens the man residing within. lolx.. what a descriptive.

Demo.... coffee is still undeniably the liquid ecstasy that unfailingly injects some much needed highs in my somewhat dreary days. Without em, I'm as good as a wasted wastrel. Ooch, I'm getting terribly unimaginative with my adjectives. Aaah bollocks, the heck with it.. who reads my blog anyways? : )