Is home not a safe place?

If childhood is dusted with colourful sprinkles, I've never been to childhood.

Pic taken at Tutti Frutti

"Is home not a safe place?"


Nobody knows for sure.


Except the silly hen in the neighbour's backyard on that hot afternoon.

or

the ticking clock peering down the bedroom on that rainy evening.

or

the door knob that was turned against its will under the dim room light.



When there's nowhere to run,
no place to hide,
no help to seek and
no one to tell,

What else is left aside from a tattered trust?

.
.
.
.
.
.

"Is home not a safe place?"


I pose this question to you, dear reader.

Numbness

Unwittingly, I'm repeating what I did 7 years ago...

For 2 years, I sat in front of the computer every Sunday. 2pm sharp.

Just to catch a glimpse of you. Just to catch your eye.

But you left me with a hurt so deep.

I swore never to do the same thing for anyone again.

But tonight..

I did it again without realizing.

Only this time round, it's another you.

Deja vu.


Ore wa... honto ni honto... totemo totemo... baka ja nai...

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019283. So strange, it stuck for so long. He had her the day he gave her the knuckle scolding. From resenting, she began to look up upon him. Secretly admiring him. Falling head-over-heels in love with him. Stashing her jealousy bouts when he flirts with others. She was never an equal in his eyes. Imouto.. she's only his imouto. Just like she was to them. She pained when he couldn't get her love, his happiness. She pained when he got closer and closer to her. She was contented, just to see him smile.. viewing his athletic frame when he dominated the court, his shy smile and his kindness to her. She took her time securing her wheels, always hopeful she could bump into him at the back lane.. so he'd offer for them to lock em together. She waited with no strings attached, as would a child for something he really really like. She was overjoyed when he brought it up, but the joy faded when it didn't work out. 1 year later, he came back again. 23rd December, he thrust Bernard into her life. While she was slaving away, he sent her 5 little words so dear. 5 little words which touched her so much, that will forever anchor his existence in her life. 24th April. That was the end. 3 days later, she had her first piercing. She shed no tears... Nobody knew... till 3 months passed by. That night, she finally felt the first pain. Had her first tears. And felt the hollow void.


Another extract from The Twisted Mind.

The Observer

He gallantly stepped out, and all flustered was she. The Observer fell, in silent defeat.

Paced up and down, looked in and out. The worry shows, an ant can tell.

This is not his first time here, you bloody imbecile.

Broken and downcast, the Observer longed to yell.

He was sick. The Observer, no less. She stooped over him. Medicine in hand. The Observer hid, with a swollen tear gland.

She reveled blatantly, in all his greatness. The Observer sighed, in thorough soreness.

Somewhere in a distant land... the skies turned black.

That noon, that second... the Observer stopped living.



Extracted from The Twisted Mind by Seth